so many things happened today, and not all good things at that.
i lost my phone. my beautiful white slide phone. may the person who took it from Bus D in NUS not sleep well for the next few years. it's a sin to take what's not yours.

my head hurts from all the crying from today. today was honestly an emotionally exhausting day. or rather, it was an emotionally exhausting night.
so you see, it's always safer to assume things aren't real. though it's delusional, it's also a safety net. i never want to fall so hard back to earth again and i dunno, i pray i haven't lost faith in love.

promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

i'm tired. so very tired. a part of me just wants to hide away and curl up under the covers of my bed, away from the world. and yet another part of me just wants to embrace the world for all that it is, hurts and all. i don't want to be a recluse, i love life and all that it brings. i love being alive and i know that feeling hurt and sad and all those negative feelings are a huge part of being alive. feeling hurt is not gonna be a permanent thing, that i know. though it seems like forever when you're in it, it's really only a short while in the entire span of things. in God's time, we have forever to live. so the one or two years of hurt we go through are nothing compared to the joy and wonderful feeling of wholeness we get to enjoy when we reach fullness of life in Christ in the eternal.

we tend to get sucked into the microscopic view of things, chasing dancing sun-beams of butterflies that seem to real only to dissolve into nothing when we put our hand through the golden wings. stop chasing those butterflies, they're not what's important. we forget that what's truly beautiful is the source of the sunbeams that the butterflies are made of, and we only see that in the macroscopic.

i'm sad and lost for the moment, but i'm gonna be okay.

2:20 AM;