get out get out get out just fricking get out of my head!!!
i'm degenerating into disconnected swear words in my own head a la Othello.
seriously, just get the hell out of my head and leave me alone.
i need to get on with my life and at this point in time, i just can't.
why? oh, don't ask stupid questions, please.
sigh. maybe it's all me. maybe you ARE trying to get out but i won't let you go.
maybe it's me who keeps slamming the door and trying so hard to keep you in, even though we both know it's better for us both if i let you go.
maybe i should be the one shoving you out.
i think i'm sliding into the depths of depression. maybe i've been depressed for two years already, but i just didn't really realise it til today.
i mean, i
knew i was upset and all, but not clincally depressed.
but looking at all the symptoms, i'm deciding that maybe it's really clincal depression.
i don't want to leave home. all i want to do is hide in my bed and sleep. i feel upset very easily.
add on all my academic woes and that's just the cherry on top of the pie.
so just fricking get out.
what am i doing blogging now when i should be making my way home to study?
i wonder, really.
i spent a totally fabulous day out with Trina yesterday. we went shopping and had FREE haagen daz ice-cream!
AND, we watched Tim Burton's Corpse Bride. (Johnny Depp!!!!!)
it was good, i think.
i think, because the show was rather disconcerting! i'm not sure why and how it made me uncomfortable, but i think it's the whole notion of the guy being married to a dead corpse. it's just unsettling. but other than that, the rest of the show - i liked. especially the ending, which was super super touching. maybe a touch cliched cos of the whole TRUE LOVE thing, but still, it made me emo.
i think i'm quite an emo person! today i felt upset out of the blue. it was quite strange!
i felt in a whiney irritating mood, i felt the need to be hugged, i felt somewhat like crying.
all out of absolutely nothing!
pms, maybe?
i don't know.
anyway.
43 days to the As!!!!!then it'll be a month to 6 whole months of respite! :)i sort of can't wait for the dratted As to be over but i don't want it to come either cos i don't want to have to face up to the prospect of having no prospects when i get my results back in March.okay, start studying, Kelly! right.i spent the whole of yesterday doing absolutely nothing academic! went out the whole day then got home for dinner. intending to settle down to study after dinner. but i ended up staying up at my grandma's place for a long time cos my dad wanted to finish watching Charlie's Angels. so i intended to start studying after coming back home to bathe and all, but i ended up watching the Liverpool-Chelsea match until i was too tired to stay awake! argh, i have zero self-discipline. this is damn scary.
