i've just registered to take my basic theory test. on the 23rd of January!
i'm one step closer to my ultimate aim of staying out til 1am every night, which will only be possible if i can drive. and if i have a car.
my eyes today are like little slits. tiny and... tiny. i have no idea why.
if i slept at 230am last night and got up at 10am this morning, i should have about 7 and a half hours of sleep.
which should be enough!
bleah i hate bad-eye-days.
i always get these slitty eyes on days when i can't afford to and have to actually look fairly decent.
looks like it's time to invest in a good tube of liquid eyeliner.
to make my eyes seem bigger especially on bad-eye-days.

i was clearing up my room yesterday when i found a poem from first 3 months lit class.
i liked it a lot then and lost it, and it only resurfaced yesterday!


How I do love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.


a sonnet by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.
i think i like it cos of the opening line. i seem to have heard it somewhere before.

...sometimes, i think it's much better to keep your mouth shut and your hands to yourself.
of course, that's what my mom always said. except that what our parents say often go unheeded until..
just until.

2:16 PM;

i am grounded today.
for doing something so stupid that i don't know what possessed me.
but whatever lah, the grounding may actually be a blessing in heavy disguise.
cos mom gave me an ultimatum - clean up my room today or else i don't get to attend the church dinner on Friday and the party at Nick's place on Saturday.
i've been earnestly trying to clean my room up but it's so deplorable that i don't even know where to start.
dust everywhere. books everywhere. papers everywhere. DUST!!!!
omg i hate dust. it screws up my nose which then screws up my day.
and i've got piles and piles of nonsense to throw out.
i've already thrown out 2 plastic bags full of crap, but my room doesn't seem any cleaner.
all i've got is a stuffy nose and a sea of paper on the floor.
how????
terrible terrible.
i need fresh air soon before i pass out.

5:54 PM;

i've been seriously damn busy the past week or two.
i seem to have had something on almost every single day, which is an appalling thought to a lazy homebody like me.
my ambition every holiday is to have at least a solid month of loafing around at home with nothing to do except sleep, read, eat, watch tv and play my games.

i've been so involved in church recently that i don't know my reasons for doing whatever i've been doing anymore. it feels a bit like an obligation, a bit like a social thing, and i think those reasons aren't the right ones.
i have to reorientate myself. seriously.
today in itself was a busy day. i met Mel and her mom in town at 1pm for lunch before we headed to her house where i bummed around and we talked.
then i headed back to town to meet Chels and Dree cos we were supposed to catch the 6pm Chronicles of Narnia show.
sigh. which we missed cos we were late in picking up our tickets. i was really disappointed cos i was looking forward to watching it. i very rarely get to catch a show on its opening day! plus, Narnia is such a heavily anticipated show. i felt bad cos i think my disappointment sort of seeped out and i kind of took it out on Chels cos Dree wasn't with us yet. that was a very not-nice thing you did, Kelly. my apologies to my darling pal Chelsa.
so our action plan no 2 was to have a good dinner at Manhattan Fish Market before walking around town to shop.
i met Carol and Daniel to collect money from them cos i was gonna help them buy some presents from Esprit.
we're all very lucky that i was in an argumentative mood just now cos i managed to argue the price back to $5 dollars per cup, which is what i'd initially paid. under normal circumstances, i'd be too docile and lazy to bother arguing. but i think the free coffee from Starbucks gave me a caffiene high which STILL hasn't worn off yet.
which is bad cos it's already 230am and i need to sleep! since my day tomorrow's completely chock-full.
i'm meeting Kenneth for lunch at 123o, then heading down to mama's house for tea with Ee-Ee Theresa, then going to Clement's house at night for choir practice for his cousin's wedding service.
ohmygod, that's a heck lot of things to do tomorrow.
i'll be so glad when next year rolls around cos everyone will be going back to school and that'll leave me with some time to fulfil my ambition of loafing around for a bit.

2:20 AM;

i met Mel today! it's been a really long time since i last spoke to her.
and i realised that she's the only classmate from my first 3 months class whom i've actually truly kept in touch with over the last 2 years since we split.
thinking back to the blissful first 3 months days of last year always throws me into a whimsical wistful mood.
...enough said, i think.
sometimes, i'm truly convinced that my heart is a lot more powerful than my mind. like my feelings are a lot stronger than what i tell myself i should feel.
mind over matter?
i think not.

Aeon Flux today was not bad.. Charlize Theron is really hot! although the storyline wasn't that fabulous.. still, i think that the show didn't suck as badly as some people said.

Bangkok last week was seriously just one super long shopping spree.
i shopped for 7 days straight from morning to night, it was insane.
the prices there were so much lower than in Singapore, now i really can't bring myself to buy anything here.
i came back home with an exploding luggage cos i just bought so much stuff! and i felt really good about my buys cos the amount i spent was really not reflective of the actual amount of things i bought.
the only bit of sight-seeing we managed to squeeze in was the visit to the floating market on Thursday.
it was cool! my sister and i sat right in front in the boat. which was extremely pollutive to the river by the way. i saw oil dripping from the engine of the boats into the river and was quite horrified.

since the exams have ended, life has been one unending whirl of activity.
prom on Tuesday was not fantastic in itself. the food was just so-s0 and the programme consisted of the usual prom dinner stuff.
dressing up was also a hassle, and my makeup was a disaster! i had only something like 15 minutes to put on all my makeup and i was this close to bursting into tears at the state of my face by 530 when we were supposed to leave.
but what i liked about prom was the photo taking and seeing my friends looking all so shiny and glamorous.
yeah, superficial reasons, i know, but i think it's nice to have a photo with your friend with the both of you looking glammed up. must be the bimbo side of me surfacing when i think that way.
snapping all those photos with my friends in itself was a significant gesture. i felt that it marked the total closure of the chapter of my life in AC. those shiny polished photos i took were like the last few photographs in the scrapbook symbolising that particular chapter, and like the ending of a book, are poignant and memorable indeed.
sentimentality has always been one of my weaknesses.
the last time i took so many photos with my friends was during Baccalaureate service in October.
it was on that day that i cried.
i felt that on that day, a chapter of my life was truly over. it was closure for me.
i don't know how to say it, but something in me just snapped and i knew in my head that school life and life as i had lived it then was finally over. that made the tears come, the thought that school life would become a thing of the past, another one of those dusty memories stored in my head.

anyway.
playing FFX-2 on the ps2 and watching late night soccer hasn't been as fulfilling as i imagined it to be.
for one thing, my sis and i have replayed x-2 at least 3 times since we started because we're determined to get 100% story completion. and last night, we realised that we missed out something really small along the way and that we would have to restart our game again. 15+ hours of gaming. pfft.
and Manchester United's sorry defeat to Benfica on Wednesday night really made me feel like throwing something at the tv screen. i stayed up til 6am to watch the match and spent the last 10 minutes of the game praying and praying that a miracle would happen and Man U would somehow scrape a draw, cos that was all they needed to make it through to the next stage of the Champions League. but NO, no miracle happened, and i slouched up to bed at 6 in the morning feeling utterly grumpy.

on a brighter note concerning Man U, Alan Smith's hair is finally growing back.

9:08 PM;