*i'd give up forever to touch you.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

i'm scared to love you, so very terrified. i'm scared to even think about it, and so i don't let myself. but sometimes in the dark of the night when i curl up in bed and put my head on the pillow, i allow myself to run away with my little fantasies, where boy loves girl, and feet don't touch the ground. where i can love without inhibitions and do whatever i wanna do, say whatever i wanna say without the constant fear of rejection. you can't love without getting hurt, but you can't love with the fear of getting hurt either. sometimes the best thing i can do is to love from afar because i'm just afraid of imposing myself on you, of imposing my wants and perhaps unwanted feelings on you, but are we just second-guessing things and making assumptions of everything? my mind cannot hold much more, but it seems that there's no limit to what the heart can feel. even when you think you've had enough, even when you tell yourself you will not care anymore cos it only causes you much pain - you still care anyway. stubborn fool, you tell yourself. but that's what love is anyway right? if i truly care for you and i truly do love you, i'll love you whether or not you feel the same way. it might force me to love from afar, but a failure to reciprocate does not warrant a 'you suck' from me. and yet a part of me also thinks that if i truly did love you, i'd pull myself away simply because you don't feel the same way. not cos you don't reciprocate, but because i don't want to complicate your life, i don't want to be an eyesore to you, i don't want to impose on you, i just don't want to make you feel negative feelings towards me that you might not want. different contexts, eh. don't second-guess anymore, say what you mean and do what you want. but can i really bring myself to? sigh i am still peturbed by little hazy misty things that i can't chase away. i'm trying to be okay, i really am.

don't let your head rule your heart
don't let your world be torn apart
don't keep it all to yourself
just let all your emotions run free
with someone like me.
i know it's hard when you're feeling down
to lift your feet up off the ground
we make mistakes, but doesn't everybody
you don't always have to agree
with someone like me
that's the way it should be.
we know the story so far
of what you want and who you are
let all your emotions run free
you don't always have to agree
with someone like me.
*someone like me//atomic kitten

i'd give up forever to touch you.
and i just want you to know who i am.

i honestly forgot who reads my blog, so have to Be Careful. not that it's bad, but some things are better left unsaid unless you wanna bother yourself with unnecessary things.
watch your words, Kelly.

7:23 PM;

0 red rose(s) just for you.

butterflies and zebras.
kelly marie ang
7 november 1987
kelly.ang@gmail.com
chij tp/acjc
nus arts
IHM * zion's joy
kent ridge hall * b-blocker
elizabeth arden-green tea
ralph lauren-glamorous
body shop-white musk
161cm tall

now she's walking through the clouds:
i hope you still feel small
when you stand beside the ocean
whenever one door closes,
i hope one more opens
promise me you'll give faith
a fighting chance

and when you get the choice
to sit it out or dance
dance, _____
i hope you dance.

1 corinthians 13:4-8
love is patient, love is kind.
it is not jealous,
love is not pompous,
it is not inflated,
it is not rude,
it does not seek its own interests,
it is not quick-tempered,
it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing
but rejoices with the truth.
it bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
love never fails.

movies and fairytales:
when you have to look away
when you don't have much to say
that's when i love you
i love you, just that way.
to hear you stumble when you speak
ir see you walk with two left feet
that's when i love you
i love you; endlessly.

ami.

the little rocks
god's rhinos
YES camp 2006
zion's joy
alison
angela
carol
chelsa
cheryl
chingjoo
cH
dee
en
huili
jeanne
john
julie
khin
liting
lynette
melissa netto
michelle lee
nick tay
sam li
shane
sherman
stella
trina
xiufen
yisi
yongxi

circus mimes.
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
October 2008

i hope you dance.

credits

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