so it's okay to hang out in cliques - only if the cliques are in your block?
the block's just a building. we're just all people living in rooms in different buildings.
we're the same, actually. it just happens that my clique happens to stay in different buildings from mine. is that wrong? hell, no.
screw what everyone thinks. i love my friends - whichever block they're from - and ultimately after you leave school, after you leave hall, no one cares whether my clique came from b-block or from d-block or a-block. we all become individuals without the block identity tagged on.
i'm thankful i have Chels, Mel and Yisi in hall with me, and i wouldn't know what i'd do without them.
screw what they all think, that the most important thing is to bond with your block-mates. it is important, i don't doubt it. but scrape through all the layers and you'll basically find a bunch of people trying to make honest, sincere, true friends. which is what i think i've managed to do, only that i've found my friends outside the block. so don't you see how it's basically the same, underneath all the promoting of packaging such friendship-forming activities as 'block bonding' activities?
people do judge people. it's a harsh fact of life. i don't pretend to imagine that i live in a world where everyone loves me and passes no judgements on me or anyone else for that matter and that we're all everyone's good friend. i'm not an idiot, please. but i do recognise that judging based on first impressions is NOT GOOD AT ALL, so i really make it a point not to do that. i wish others would realise that too, that's all.
i'm only 19, and i already seem so tired of the realities of life. perhaps it's the sudden exposure to all this nonsense, having been sheltered in my parents' home for the last 18 years in this world. it's like how you suddenly take off the blindfold after having been blindfolded for a damn long time. the sudden exposure to light will render you almost completely blind initially.
i wish things turned out differently. i wish i didn't get so bothered. i wish i could talk freely without having to censor myself, but tonight was enough - i've said too much to too many people already. i wish the message was longer. i wish i could. i wish people wouldn't tell me who i should and should not hang out with. i wish i could love you. i wish i could screw it all and just carry on. i wish i could say in all honesty: 'i'm completely behind you.' i wish i could smile genuinely and mean it. i wish you were all in my block. i wish i didn't have to act like i like it.
i just wish.
