Met Chels today again! Heh I've been seeing her awfully frequently lately, it's quite funny. Especially when I think about all the months I'll be spending with her in hall!
Ha it seems that the more time we spend together, the more twinnish we become. In the next few months our lives are gonna be running incredibly similarly, what with hall life in Kent Ridge, business school and now even ZJ! :)
I've been itching to play Final Fantasy VIII again, for some strange reason.
I think I need a dose of fantasy before my life becomes too drab and tear-inducingly boring when school term begins.
I miss my bumming days already, and school hasn't even started yet.
Just thinking about moving into hall and going through orientation makes me a teensy bit upset because I'm loving my life right now. I love having so much time for myself. Allows me to pay a little more attention to my well-being and take better care of me.
Sighhhh.
I feel like I haven't bummed enough, somehow.
Haven't loafed around enough as neither a student nor an employee, with all the time in the world in my hands, with nary a worry about my timetable beyond where I'm going out with a girl pal the next day or how I'm going to find enough money to buy that gorgeous skirt from wherever.
Somehow, I feel like I'm never gonna get such a deliciously long and carefree break again in my entire life - until the day I retire.
It's funny isn't it, how time really zooms by when you're enjoying yourself? It's already end of July, more than half the year's gone. And it still feels like A-Levels just ended last month. I had so many things I'd wanted to do after the As. I'd wanted to play my ps2 games until I got sick of them, clean up my room and finally throw out my PSLE assessment books, go cycling with Trina and let the gentle waves tickle my toes as we stand on the beach and watch the sea.
I guess there're many many things people wanna do in life, but never get to do because there're only 24 hours in a day and 365 days a year. Life's so transient, so short. It's quite scary. Just taking this long vacation as a microscopic view of life shows me that.
If I could live my life all over again, I'd have applied for the SPH scholarship and gotten an internship with The Straits Times or Cleo or some other magazine so I'd be one step closer to fulfilling my girlhood dream of being a writer and not twenty steps too far.
I'd have worked harder in school so I wouldn't have gotten out with just one A and two Bs - just falling short of exellence again.
I'd have spent more time with people I love to show them just that, that I'm not a lousy friend, that I care so much.
I'd have thought out my words more carefully because I've come to realise that carelessly said words
can scar, not just others but myself too.
There're already so many things I've done that I would choose to redo if I could turn back the clock, and just imagine! - I'm only barely 19! Imagine this list of regrets when I'm old and grey, a stooped old lady of 75. I daren't.
Okay anyway. Enough musing! I've got work to do tonight. Gotta clear up some more of my room before moving into hall this Sunday. My mother won't let me go in peace until she's satisfied with the state of my room. Hmm I wonder how I'm ever gonna go then, cos there're 7 years worth of things stuffed in strange corners of the shelves and under the cupboards!
And there's still packing to do! Clothes, toiletries, pillows, linen and a dustbin are among the list of items I have to pack to move to my room.
After so many months of wishing I could hurry up and move out of my house into hall, now that moving-in-day's just within my sight, I suddenly don't wanna budge from my home at all anymore. You can't imagine how strange it is to swing from an eagerness to leave home to a desperate feeling of wanting to stay at home.
It is rather strange.
