Sometimes, you gotta do things you really would rather avoid doing. Sometimes, you gotta say things you'd really rather avoid saying.
Heck, sometimes, you gotta face up to reality and all the shit it entails even though you feel like staying curled up safely under the covers in bed with your eyes closed.
I am so not looking forward to tomorrow.
On Friday night, when I felt my entire world crashing down around me when I went to bed, I seriously felt like dying. And when I got up on Saturday morning, I was wondering why I was still alive, wondering why I'd woken up again to face a whole new day.
Heh. The sappy song by The Carpenters comes to mind when I look back to what I was thinking last Saturday morning.
Why does the sun go on shining? Why does the sea rush to shore? Don't they know it's the end of the world when you don't love me anymore.And yadda yadda. Argh. Too much sop and sap. I've become so utterly desensitised to my emotions that I somehow feel like I've died inside for now.
Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, actually. I'm so sick of
feeling that I'm actually a little glad that my emotions have detached themselves from me, even if it's only for a while.
I AM SO NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO TOMORROW.
Ugh.
Anyways. Today was a good slack day. Spent the better part of the morning lazing around at home. Playing around with my new toy - a very pretty Samsung notebook! :)
Installing Sims 2 University and downloading stuff for the game... Enjoying the feeling of being momentarily carefree and deliciously burden-free.
Sigh. It was a peace that didn't last, sadly.
I was rudely reminded of the events of the past few days and out came the mask again, to show the world my alright self.
I still haven't really prepped for my worship session for YES camp. I need to look through the words of the songs and decipher what they really mean to me to be able to convey the true essence of the song to the participants.
1. You Are Worthy of my Praise
2. Open the Eyes of my Heart
3. Amazed
4. Eagle's Wings
5. Holy Spirit
6. Spirit Touch Your Church
7. Lord, Reign in Me
I typed out the songlist in an attempt to try to organize my thoughts.
I'm failing miserably!
Bleah and double bleah.
