I'm back from business camp! I've been back since Thursday actually. But. Haven't gotten round to blogging til today. It was funfunfun!
I was in Orva. We won 3 awards! The Crack-the-Code challenge, Something Else game and Best Group Identity.
I thought I was past the rah-rah enthu stage after leaving JC, but I guess there's still that bit of that awkward schoolgirl still living in me.
Anyways. Cheering aside. I am so glad Chelsa and I ended up in the same OG. Seriously, without her around, I think I would've died.
Practically everyone spoke Mandarin! Like, hello, what happened to English? I felt so out of place! But it's okay I guess, cos that's how it's like in the world out there. The newspapers did a survey, and guess what? - majority of the people in Singapore actually speak more Chinese than English.
So I guess that makes me part of the minority. But whatever lah, it doesn't bother me. As long as I can understand what you are saying and vice versa, otherwise it doesn't matter what you speak.
Oh my gosh, I tell you, I feel like I've lived 10 lives the last 3 weeks.
SO MANY THINGS HAVE HAPPENED.
Bloody hell man. It's been too quick for me to comprehend, all the stuff that's happened. I feel so responsible for so many things, it's such a sucky feeling. But shit man, it's not really wholly my fault either.
So what do I do?
Argh. I feel like stabbing something to bits. Frustration is welling up rapidly in me at my inability to cleanup the mess around for everyone, at my inability to face up to the inevitable, at my tendency to pretend everything away.
And I do want to clear things up, I really do. It's just that everytime I try to broach the topic, no one seems to want to help me to clean up. I can't do it alone; it's like when you sweep the floor - you need someone to help you hold the dustpan while you sweep up all the dust.
And you know, the smile on my face isn't really a smile anymore. It's just my muscles freezing into that shape and state to prevent people from asking too much. Wipe the smile away and you'll find an ugly scowl underneath.
Business camp was fun, but I know it's empty fun. There isn't really any meaning behind all the partying, clubbing, cheering and showing off. I was enjoying the attention shown to me at camp, I'll admit it. But that's all there is to it, just the glamour and shiny popularity. At the end of the day, I'm glad I have my lovely community in Zion's Joy and my darling girlfriends Trina and Chelsa to come back to.
You know, the irony is that a lot of my turmoil and upset is caused BY these same people. And yet I love them all to bits. I can't hate the people who hurt me so badly because I love them so much.
I know I'm not really making much sense, but as long as I know what I'm talking about, it's fine. Heh.
I'm so tempted to just throw myself completely into the busy-ness of uni life. It's so easy. Really. I've already tasted what that kind of life could potentially be like, and I would most probably flourish in that kind of life and enjoy all the attention on me. Business camp gave me a taste of what I could enjoy.
And besides, I'm gonna be staying in Kent Ridge Hall next sem when uni begins. I could just run far away and stay far away. It's so easy.
To just lose myself in all the hall and bizad activities waiting for me.
You know, I hate to sound like some self-righteous matyr. But I'm gonna come across like that anyway, I daresay. Because. I'm going to try not to do exactly what I've said I could very easily do to escape from the madness swirling around me.
I'm gonna stay in hall, but I'm gonna do what I have to do back home too.
There are conversations to be had, doors to be opened and shut, dirty and smelly baby pillows to be thrown away, SO MANY THINGS TO BE DONE!
But all that being said and done, business camp was definitely a great experience I had. It was a great 4 days spent, meeting new people - fellow freshies and the seniors and OGLs.
Pictures speak a thousand words.
And so, here're some of the photos of Bizad FOC 2006!
SP night!
talking to my SP - and I didn't even know they took my slippers.
eating prata supper!
something else :)
