i just need someplace to thresh out my thoughts, and i think here'd be the perfect place.
i was just thinking. how much time can i spare?
then i thought: how much time do i want to give up?
the amount of actual free time i have and the amount of free time i'm willing to forego are vastly different.
and being a creature of habit and leisure, i fiercelyand very wholehartedly guard my free time. if i put in the same amount of heart into doing other things, i'd be a highflyer by now i think.
but back to my questions.
it's not so much a question of whether i can operate at a slightly higher level for the next few weeks, but whether i want to step up my responsibilities.
right here right now, the main dilemma is not so much whether i'm afraid to fail, but whether i WANT to or not.
so does this make it a moral impasse?
HELP!!!
i need to articulate my thoughts.
or like in The Things They Carried, where the soldiers cussed 'cause they simply couldn't find the appropriate words to say. yeah. i feel abit like doing that now.
(&(*&&%%$#%##@#@!q
played softball during double pe today! and robertatan's baaaack.
when i saw her this morning, i really stood stock still for 5 whole seconds before wailing oh nooooooooooooo.
i cannot believe that i stubbed my toe on the bases while running today, but the humongous pain in my little toe says that i did.
and thanks to the walking eagle (okay not really, but somewhat), i was late for mom and dad's thanksgiving mass at novena to commemorate their 24th wedding anniversary. dad picked me up from school and we got there like, 30min late.

HAPPY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD!!
not that they'll ever read this, but just for fun! :)

sigh and i still haven't resolved my inner conflict.

7:46 PM;